QI’m a twentysomething married trans guy in an openish marriage. In the online hunt for a guy to have some aboveboard under-the-sheets fun with, I run into snags because I’m trans (I disclose on my profile) and because I’m married. I’m baby-stepping my way toward an offline search for guys, going to events hosted by the local gay pride center. I’ve been thinking of not wearing my wedding ring at these meetups, as I worry it says I’m taken and off-limits. Would it be dishonest for me to present as unmarried as long as I make it clear that I’m not looking for romance? —Totally On-Limits Dude
AThe guys you were with before you met your husband—all those sex-negative/less-sex-positive guys with their lower-than-yours libidos—did you ever complain about them? Did you ever gripe to friends about always being the one who had to initiate? And now you’re complaining about being with a guy who has a higher libido and who is just as sex positive as you are? My advice: Stop pathologizing your husband. You probably didn’t appreciate it when past partners made you feel like your libido was a problem. Your husband’s libido isn’t a problem either. If you’re not interested in porn, lingerie, or toys, say so. But look on the bright side—you’re lucky enough to be with a guy whose libido exceeds your own (for a change!), WTF, so your needs will never be neglected. Yahtzee.
QNow that fecal transplants are all the rage for correcting gut microflora imbalances, when are we going to hear about the healing benefits of sharing anal toys? —Sharing Is Caring, Kids
