More than 17,000 Syrians have been killed in government custody since March 2011, and an estimated 100,000 people are still missing and presumed detained or killed, according to Syrian human rights groups. Abu Shadi, 27, was born in Damascus and sought asylum in Chicago in 2013 after he was arrested and tortured for more than a month by the Assad regime for filming peaceful protests. (We’re referring to him by his nickname to protect his identity during the asylum process.) Today he continues his work as a filmmaker while studying computer science and waiting for word on his asylum application. Here Abu Shadi reflects on Trump’s April 7 missile strikes on a Syrian government airfield, and the painful memories the strike conjured. [Editor’s note: This post contains descriptions of violence that readers may find disturbing.]
I’ve developed a complicated relationship with social media because, honestly, I can’t see dead Syrian civilians anymore. For us, the images of dead bodies are not just news; they are our family members, friends, and people. I see my family in the photos of the dead, but most of all, it’s a reminder that the world watches us and does nothing.
It was like any other night: I fell asleep, while one of my friends talked to his girlfriend on the phone, another was up studying for his classes. Around 2 AM I woke up to the cock of a gun over my head. Four officers were standing above me while I lay on my back looking up. “Don’t move,” they said, while pointing their guns at me.
At first I was taken to a station in Mezze, and for six hours we were beaten with hands, feet, guns—any object they could find. I had never been beaten before. A lot of people die during this first interview. While you are being beaten you wonder, will I live? Afterwards, I was taken to a basement where I was tortured by four men.
This time, it was better than before, with edible food and a chance to talk to your families. I was there for just 24 hours, before my family bribed the government for my release. I was told to leave Syria or face rearrest. So I left to Egypt, then eventually I acquired a student visa to come to America.
