Q I am a liberal parent. I raised a daughter who is bi and poly. I always thought that I could accept anything that parenthood might throw at me. I knew that I could embrace my son if he were straight, gay, bi, trans, etc. If there is a controlling consciousness of the universe, it has a nasty sense of humor. Putting it bluntly: my son is sexually attracted to Pokemon. He dropped hints that I didn’t really pick up on. But over the last few years, I have stumbled across evidence of his browsing habits that left me pretty clear about his proclivities. He is now 17, so thoughts that he would “grow out of it” are fading. My biggest fear is that he won’t find someone to pair with. I love my children and want them to be happy. Should I address this with him? Try to discourage an orientation that, to me, seems kind of pathetic? —Dad of Pokemon Enthusiast
It’s like this, DOPE: some kids are going to sexually imprint on random shit, kids are exposed to random shit all the time, there’s no way of predicting which kids will imprint on what shit, so there’s no way to prevent Pokemon fetishists or foot fetishists or sneeze fetishists or clown fetishists from happening. A small number of our fellow human beings, your son included, will have kinks that strike others—folks who don’t share their kinks, folks who don’t have any kinks of their own—as pathetic, twisted, sick, or silly.
Q When I was a teenager, my mother found some dirty stories I wrote on my computer. They were hard-core (bondage, slavery, whippings), and some featured neighborhood MILFs that I had crushes on. I was 14 at the time. My mom went ballistic and terrorized me about my kinks until I left for college. I hated my mother so much during this time. I didn’t feel like I could trust her, and I never confided in her about anything. It took me a decade to get over it. I’m now 30, straight, and married. My wife and I appear to be “normal.” But we are both into bondage and S&M, we go to fetish parties, and we’ve explored cuckolding and forced bi. My wife and I aren’t a perfect fit—I enjoyed cuckolding (my fantasy) but not so much forced bi (seeing me suck dick was her fantasy)—but our kinks have brought us a lot of joy. Cutting to the chase: my wife is pregnant. We announced the news to my mom and dad, and they were delighted. I was honestly delighted to make my parents so happy. Then my mother sent me an e-mail saying that I had her to thank for my relationship and my child-to-be. If she hadn’t “nipped those dark sexual impulses in the bud,” I would “not now have a lovely wife and a morally acceptable lifestyle,” and she wouldn’t be expecting her first grandchild. Mom thinks her five-year-long campaign of shaming me—and constantly spying on me and haranguing me—cured me of my kinks! I’m so angry. I want to tell my mother that she has my “dark sexual impulses” to thank for her first grandchild! I met my kinky wife on Fetlife! No kinks, no wife! No wife, no grandchild! My wife would rather not be outed as kinky to her mother-in-law and says to let it go. What do you say? —Mad Over Terribly Hurtful E-mail Received
