Q I’m a 26-year-old lesbian 18 months out of an eight-year relationship. She was my first girlfriend. I do not want to be in another monogamous relationship. I want to have a couple of sex buddies or, preferably, a couple of friends with benefits. In the last 18 months, I have had three FWB “arrangements” with different girls. The problem is, about two or three months in, each girl developed serious like/love feelings and began talking about a future together and how they want to be with me exclusively. Each time, I had to reiterate my feelings about not getting into a relationship and wound up feeling like an asshole. I care about these women and don’t want to hurt their feelings, but I told them the situation from the start. Am I a bad person? Or are FWB impossible? —Fears Wilting Boundaries
Q I’m a 28-year-old straight female. I’ve only ever been able to orgasm if I self-induce while alone or if I’m on top during sex with a guy and my clit is being rubbed on the guy’s abdomen. (This works best with bigger guys.) When there is no abdomen rubbing my clit, I fake it. I can squeeze so it feels as if I’m coming, but I’m not. Do you have any suggestions? —Wants Real Orgasms
A You would be foolish to waste your time wondering whether your fiance wants to have sex with trans women, FLATWH, as it’s clear that your fiance wants to have sex with trans women. The question you should concern yourself with is this: Can your fiance be trusted to honor the monogamous commitment he’s (presumably) about to make to you, or is he going to cheat? If you trust that he’ll honor the commitment, then his taste in porn and his fantasies about other partners—trans or not—is irrelevant.
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