Q: I’m a hetero guy in need of advice. Back in college, I met this girl. Suffice it to say she was into me but I had some shit to work through. So we ended up being a missed connection, romantically. Despite that, we still became fast friends. I’m less awkward now, in large part because our friendship changed my life. We each married other people, and everything worked out great. Except I still love her. I think about her often, want to share things about my life with her, find myself wanting to rely on her when things are tough. I don’t know what to do with it. On one hand, she means an awful lot to me—she is the kind of friend that comes along once in a lifetime—and I know that I mean a lot to her. So this is a relationship worth protecting, even as asymmetrical as it is. On the other hand, these feelings are starting to seem kind of pathetic. We are barely part of each other’s lives anymore—do I even have a right to feel the way I do? I see three options, each of which is shit. (1) Keep my feelings to myself and endure/enjoy a painful but deeply meaningful friendship. (2) Disappear, either abruptly or gradually, with no explanation. Or (3) damn the torpedoes and bare my soul, which might painfully explode the relationship. After years of option 1, I am strongly leaning toward option 3—just blowing shit wide open and dealing with whatever happens. —No Good At Acronyms
Q: A friend of mine talks about his sex life almost constantly. Not quite like bragging, more matter-of-fact. For instance, out of the blue he will come out with this: “I was sitting in a bar and this broad looks at me and asks if I want to fuck. She had the tightest pussy I’ve ever had.” It just seems like conversation for him. I’m baffled by this. What’s going on with him? —Not So Talky
A: You weren’t the only reader who came to STATUS’s defense. It’s possible Peter and I got it wrong—our familiarity with cases where vengeful exes abused reporting laws to go after HIV+ people may have colored our response. On the off chance I got it wrong, RRR, I’m going to need to be punished. It should be something that really hurts. Oh, I know: I’ll listen to the original Broadway cast recording of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Twice. v
