Most excellent greetings to you, young traveler. Your choice of reading is wise in anticipation of this highest of holidays: April 20, aka 4/20, aka National Weed Day. I see your eyes glinting with the light of a million Christmases at the promise of a spliff-scented wake-‘n-bake-‘n-eggs morning.
Closest tacos: Taco in a Bag, 4603 N. Lincoln
Slo ‘Mo The city is a steamy, neon-lit jungle, and you’re a hard-boiled detective with an iron heart who’s trying to solve a homicide. Was it your ex-wife or the drink that finally turned you cold? Only the hand-rolled stick of chocolope hanging from your lips knows for sure. You pass club after club, grinding along crowded sidewalks, but the only thing you want to grind is a crunchy nug into a kief salad so you can get a little more distance from this godforsaken world. Still, you’d welcome a soft touch like you’d welcome a Gatorade in the desert. Find action but no danger at this slow-jamming “party for lovers” founded in 2012 to “cultivate joy on the dance floor.” The righteous sax solo of “Careless Whisper” rings out into the sweaty streets. You’ll find that killer tomorrow. Thu 4/20, 9 PM-3 AM, the Whistler, 2421 N. Milwaukee, 773-227-3530, whistlerchicago.com, free.
Closest tacos: Cilantro Taco Grill, 9509 W. Higgins Rd., Rosemont
Champion of the Trees 10K Run You wanted indica but you accidentally bought sativa and now you’re up and paranoid—it’s time to Jedi the shit out of this morning. Did Luke stop running even though Dagobah was replete with whippy vines and sharp-ass trees? NO! The Force is strong with you, plus you’ve been living on tacos, so your cholesterol is in the red. No amount of chill is gonna fix that, but this environmentally friendly 10K just might. And after the finish line, you’ll get some free recovery food, a complimentary beer, photo booth access, and live music all out in the woods. It’s basically Bonnaroo with a shorter train ride home, people. Sun 4/23, 8 AM, Morton Arboretum, 4100 Illinois Rte. 53, Lisle, 630-968-0074, mortonarb.org, $50, $45 Morton Arboretum members.
