QThis is going to sound like bragging, but my appearance is intrinsic to my kink. I’m a gay male gymnast. Most of the guys on my college team are annoyed by the kind of objectification we routinely come in for. (We actually don’t want to be auctioned off at yet another sorority fund-raiser, thanks.) But I’ve always been turned on by the thought of being a piece of meat. I’ve masturbated for years about dehumanization. Being in bondage, hooded, and gagged—not a person anymore, faceless, nude, on display, completely helpless. (Just typing that sentence made me hard.) It finally happened. I found a guy on Recon.com (which I discovered on your podcast, so thank you). He is into BDSM, which isn’t the goal for me, and he wanted to do some of “his stuff” to me while I was dehumanized and helpless. We had a long talk about what I was OK with (gentle tit clamps, some butt play, very light spanking) and what I wasn’t OK with. I didn’t want to be marked. He asked what I meant by that, and I said, “No bruises, no welts, no red marks.” He didn’t bruise me, but he did something that it didn’t occur to me to rule out: he shaved off all my body hair—pits, pubes, legs, ass, chest. I’m angry, but at the same time, I’m seriously turned on by the thought of seeing this guy again. I also have a boyfriend. I thought going in that this would be a onetime thing, that I would get this out of my system and never tell my boyfriend about it, but I don’t think I can do that now. (Maybe I should’ve figured out that something I’ve been jacking off about since age 13 isn’t something I could do just once.) What do I say to my boyfriend about being suddenly hairless and about my kink? And what do I say to the guy? I want to go back and continue to explore being an object, but I don’t feel like I can trust him. —Desire Erased Humanity Until My Aching Nuts Exploded
The full truth would go something like this (hand him this column):
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