• Julia Thiel
  • Michael Lachowicz

If there’s anything more ridiculous than a group of food nerds in a strip club ignoring everything else around them while taking pictures of their steaks, I can’t think of it. But not long ago I journeyed out to the suburban Stone Park “gentleman’s club” Club Allure. That’s the one next to the convent, whose nuns have raised their proverbial pitchforks against it. But I wasn’t there for the entertainment, inside or outside. Honest. I was there to eat from the steak-house-style menu developed by veteran North Shore chef Michael Lachowicz, whom you might know from his work at the late Le Francais, Le Deux Gros, or the current Restaurant Michael—or perhaps even from this week’s Key Ingredient, in which he cooks up some calves’ brains.

I go to Overeaters Anonymous as well as Narcotics Anonymous. And trainers and—I go to a lot of meetings now. It’s good. It’s better.

They have steak houses that are gentleman’s clubs all over the south, but Atlanta’s the hot center for that. They flew me out to Atlanta to look at the one they had in mind. They didn’t copy it but that’s how we got a lot of ideas. That’s how we learned, wow there are places out here that are really—they’re not for everyone—but they’re definitely not sawdust joints. They’re not peanut shells on all the floors of these different places. They’re well kept, and they smell nice and the bathrooms are immaculate. And they’re really pretty cool.

There’s a whole bunch of science that goes into it. And there’s a lot of what people’s expectations are before they come in the door there. And one thing they’re not expecting is great food. You know, it’s not a traditional titty bar, that’s not what they do. It’s more of an entertainment venue. They have live dancers. That’s where they make their money. And you know they have a full liquor license.

Listen man, the whole thing is Sodom and Gomorrah for me, I gotta stay the fuck out of there. It’s not a good place for me to be. The cheese will slide right off my cracker if I’m there too long.

  • Club Allure
  • Club Allure