Q: I’ve been dating this guy for almost two months. It’s been pretty good, except the sex isn’t really the best. I have this other male friend who has had a crush on me. Long story short: My friend made a move on me the other night. I told him I couldn’t, and he knew why, but to be honest, I was insanely turned on by his forwardness. He apologized, but a week later we hung out, and I told him that it really intrigued me, and we ended up having crazy cool sex—satisfying in all the ways the guy I’m dating isn’t. I haven’t told the guy I’m seeing about this, and I don’t plan to. But I feel guilty. I keep rationalizing that we have never had a talk about exclusivity, and I therefore have no obligation to him. I want to keep fucking my friend, but I also enjoy dating this other guy. Am I an asshole? Am I obligated to disclose that I’m not interested in monogamy with him? —Too Many Intrigues
A: I’ve read that young people don’t make phone calls anymore—talking on the phone is for olds (full disclosure: We olds hardly speak to each other on the phone anymore, either)—so I’m surprised your young-and-mono GF wants to hear your young-and-poly voice on a daily basis. I think you should propose a young-and-fun compromise: texting instead of phoning during the week and a Skype/masturbation session on the weekend.
Q: I think your answer to BFF last week missed an essential piece of information. She refers to herself as engaging in “drunken” threesomes and hookups. I think she needs to examine her own behavior, not that of her roommate and FWB, and the fact that her relationships seem to be fueled by the effects of her alcohol consumption. I’m guessing her letter was fuzzy for a reason. It was probably written in a drunken haze. Nothing you say will get through to her unless you address her use of alcohol. —Alcohol Not the Solution
