- Connie Vaughn
- In the event of the apocalypse, keep an eye out for these guys.
A few Sundays ago I took a break from sorting and labeling canned goods under the floorboards of my Rogers Park condo, watering a variety of heirloom seeds in my urban window garden, and killing and gutting park squirrels to attend the C.U.M.A. Urban Survival Training Course at Dan Ryan Woods-South.
On this particular day, class is about “bugging out.” While many of Tsai’s classes are attended primarily by adult first-timers like me, this class is filled with his young martial arts students—including his son, Noah, 13, and his daughter, Nyah, 11—all of whom wield Tsai-designed Battle Cleavers. “Bugging in” is when you stay at home and wait out a disaster. “Bugging out” happens, ideally, shortly before your panicky, less-prepared neighbors run out of food and restlessly start pounding down your door or shooting at you. Those are the people, says Tsai, that are the real zombies of the apocalypse—the “brain dead” types who are a danger to others. “What people are willing to do to one another is horrible,” he says.
Coach Josh also explains how to buy GO bags that are unobtrusive and don’t look like backpacks full of valuable supplies and gear. He demonstrates how to wear them under your clothes and become a “gray man”: “You blend in, you don’t look like you have stuff. You look just as clueless, just as much of a sheep as everyone else.”
