Q: About a year ago, I was pretending to read my boyfriend’s mind and jokingly said, “You want to put it in my ear.” Since then, I have seen references to ear sex (aural sex?) everywhere! There’s even a holiday (Take It in the Ear Day, on December 8), and I was reading a book just now in which the author mentions how much she hates getting come in her ear. So while I am honestly not trying to yuck someone’s yum, I do have two questions. First, is this really a thing? And second, how does it work? I mean, I like it when my boyfriend kisses my ears, but I don’t think I’d get that hot from him putting his penis there. It just seems loud. Can you enlighten me? —An Understanding Requested About Listeners
A: I’m not gonna lecture you about how homelessness is a tragedy for individuals and a national crisis that the administration of Orange Julius Caesar is unlikely to prioritize. Just like AURAL, DIRTY, I’m not here to yuck anyone’s yum. But this is definitely a fantasy—morally speaking—that can’t be fully realized.
Okay, HANGED, I’m going to take you at your word: You love being alive and don’t actually want to kill yourself any more than a sane person into Master/slave role-play actually wants to own a human being or be enslaved. But while I agree that repressing sexual desires is a hopeless endeavor, HANGED, “can’t be repressed” isn’t the only factor we have to take into consideration as we contemplate acting on our sexual fantasies. There are two other important considerations (at least!): Can the act be performed consensually? Can the act be enjoyed with minimal risk of permanent harm?
