Q: Is it legal for a man to procure the services of a dominatrix? In the kind of session I have in mind, there’s no nudity or sexual activity or contact involved. There’s not even any whipping or flogging or caning or hardcore BDSM stuff. I just want to see what it would be like to be bound and gagged. That’s it. So is it against the law to pay a woman to tie me up? —Boy Into Nonsexual Domination

“We don’t offer sex or nudity in our professional BDSM work,” said Cross, “and this keeps us out of the ‘criminalized’ categories of sex work. However, every state has different laws. NYC and LA both have large professional BDSM communities, but I can’t say every state or city welcomes or tolerates this type of sex work. In some places, the scene is more ‘underground,’ mostly because people still have a hard time understanding that some people just want to get tied up and not get a hand job too.”

Q: I’m a straight man, age 33. I was in a mutually unsatisfying relationship with a woman in my 20s. I told her not long after we got together that I didn’t want to eat her pussy because I didn’t like her smell. I’d eaten other vulvas before and loved them. She wasn’t a week-between-showers kind of woman, and she was rightly hurt. Years later, I started listening to you and got religion. (And since she didn’t want to hear from me, I made my apologies by treating the women I date now better.) Since then, I’ve loved the smell of every woman’s pussy I’ve been fortunate enough to stick my nose in. But the question haunts me: How could I have handled that situation instead? How would I handle it again? What’s a sex-positive way to tell a pussy-having person their smell turns you off? As someone who feels imbalanced in a sexual relationship if I’m not eating my partner’s pussy, should I just quietly end things and say nothing? Seems like there’s a middle way. I first thought of your advice for smelly dicks—tell him to take a shower—but for Americans, the smell of a vulva is tied up as much in hygiene as misogyny. I’m not sure how to approach this. —Wondering How I Fill Females in Now Graciously