Q: I’m a gay medical student with a medical fetish, and I can’t even open up to my therapist about this. I think the fetish started when I was young; I was once in the hospital and given a suppository for a fever. Then one time I was given a Fleet enema. I don’t think the “butt stuff” turned me gay, but my fetish may stem from the aspect of being controlled. I grew up in a very conservative religious household. I’ve never been in a relationship, and I don’t know that I could have one while hiding what turns me on. In my profession, we have to be confident and even sort of “dominant” in our roles as providers, but underneath I’m incredibly submissive. I didn’t go into medicine for this reason. We have very strict professional boundaries and ethical expectations, and I have no problem with that. I expect my job to be very clinical and boring. But outside of work, I feel like my sexual desires need some kind of outlet. —Dilemma of Conscience
The good news?
Q: I have a phone-sex kink, and I got Tinder to explore that. I tell guys it won’t get physical and that I’m interested only in text play and photo swapping. I matched with a cute, kinky guy, and I have been playing with him mostly over text for about two years. The issue is that I found out recently that he’s engaged. I’m pretty conflicted about this. He says that sex with her is good but vanilla and that she’s unwilling to experiment. He also isn’t comfortable sharing his kinks with her. I understand that some people have a hard time reconciling the dirty shit they want to do in bed with the sweet girl they want to marry, but he seems unwilling to try. Do I cut him off? Is he just doing what he has to do to make an otherwise good relationship work? Is it OK of him if she never finds out and everyone is happy? —Playing Hurtful Over Text Only?
