QI’m the bisexual everyone loves to hate, because I want to be in a poly relationship with both a man and a woman. I am a woman who is into commitment, loyalty, love, trust, and honesty. I am not looking to cheat on anyone. But I discovered after one failed marriage to a man and one long-term relationship with a woman that I want to be in a romantic, sexually committed relationship with a man and a woman at the same time. This could possibly involve three-way sex, but probably not. It is more about sharing my life intimately with both a man and a woman. Unfortunately, I don’t know if I will ever find that perfect balance, because so far all my potential serious partners have been turned off by the idea that I want to be with two people and believed that I should “get over it” and just be in a monogamous relationship with them—straight or gay. Should I keep searching? Is what I want as valid as what other people want? If so, how do I broach the subject without turning people off? —Love Them Both

Because there is no settling down without settling for, LTB, and that applies to bisexual and monosexuals, monogamists and polyamorists. Good luck.

So maybe you’re not datable right now. Your goal should be to make yourself datable in two years’ time. Focus on school, look for work, save your money, and stay the fuck away from meth and the men who use it. Turn yourself into someone you’d be open to dating—not a perfect person, but a person in good working order, a person with his shit together—and then you’ll be datable.

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