QDoes a person who acts loving only when high on weed really love you? My live-in boyfriend of three years acts sweet, loving, and caring when he’s high, but when the weed runs out, he’s mean, angry, hurtful, and horrible to be around. I’ve asked him when he’s stoned to still act like a loving person when the weed runs out, but of course that never happens. He just dismisses that he’s mean and hurtful, and he blames me for why he’s angry. I’m so confused! Without weed, he’s intolerable. Should I just make sure he’s always well stocked with his drug? He’s a relatively functional stoner, even though technically it’s not allowed at his job. I’ve told all my friends he is no longer the mean asshole he was when I wanted to leave him (but didn’t), and now I’ve convinced everyone that he transformed back into the amazing catch I always knew he was. So basically, in order to save face over not leaving him (and now I can’t for financial reasons), I burned the bridges. —Tensions Highlight Concerns That Relationships Aren’t Perfect
But let’s get a second opinion, shall we?
“If this guy is such a prick when he’s not high, I’d get rid of him,” said Skye. “Putting your girlfriend in a position where she feels like she has to become your dealer—that she has to supply you with pot—is not acceptable.”
QI’m a man who is married to a woman. In our 12-year relationship, our sex life hasn’t ever been really active, but after being married, my wife’s sex drive decreased noticeably. She had promised things would improve once we tied the knot. She explained that her upbringing was conservative and she felt guilty about having sex before marriage. But marriage didn’t help. We’ve gone to couples’ therapy, only to abandon it because she doesn’t feel any progress, and our pantry has barely used natural remedies for low libido. Our library has workout DVDs collecting dust after she said she felt too fat to be attractive. Currently, she can last having sex for nearly half an hour before feeling exhausted and stopping, regardless of me reaching orgasm or not. On the other hand, we enjoy each other’s company and we’ve got each other’s backs whenever things are rough, so I can’t say she’s uninterested in me. I can’t remember the last time I had fulfilling sex. Whenever I bring it up, she breaks down, saying she’s not enough for me. My need for sex is killing me. —Unsexed Grumpy Husband
PS: Never once has a conflict over too little sex in a long-term relationship been solved by a marriage ceremony. v
