In the midst of the #MeToo movement and the wake of the Kavanaugh confirmation, many well-meaning guys have been analyzing past decisions. Some of us have been wondering if there were times when we could have better supported the women in our lives or done more to put an end to the harmful behavior of other men.
Take walking home at night, for example. While all Chicagoans have concerns about crime, some women told me they feel wary of any man they encounter on a darkened street. “You can hurt us,” said architecture and design writer Anjulie Rao. “Easily, quickly. We know this. So don’t be surprised when we move away from you, or walk on the other side of the street. It’s never unreasonable.”
Similarly, law student Ezra Lintner, who identifies as genderqueer, said it’s important to follow the lead of the person who is being catcalled. “I’ve made the mistake of being confrontational when the women I was with just wanted to keep walking. . . . A simple ‘Ugh, should we deal with this or keep walking?’ is enough.”
Assistant horticulturalist Yaritza Guillen told me that bike commuting has turned out to be a good solution for avoiding the hassles and indignities she regularly faces while walking or riding the CTA. “I don’t have to deal with strange men in my space, creepily talking to me about nonsense.”
How does she deal with that deeply creepy situation? “I just pull over and stop for a few minutes and let them go,” Randall said. “Sometimes I say something like, ‘If you can’t introduce yourself, get off my fucking wheel.’ Sometimes I just blow snot rockets with reckless abandon.”
