I had a great time at the live taping of the Savage Lovecast at Chicago’s Music Box Theatre June 15. Audience members submitted questions on cards, and I tackled as many as I could over two hours—with the welcome and hilarious assistance of local comedian Kristen Toomey. Here are some of the questions we didn’t get to before they gave us the hook . . .

A: Get this woman’s phone number, exchange a few photos and flirty texts, and relax. Remember: You’re the very special guest star here—it’s their job to seduce you, not the other way around.

Q: Any dating advice for people who are gay and disabled?

A: Traditionally, straight couples exchange strap-on dildos to mark their six-month anniversary.

Q: I went to a big kink event. Why are the people so fucking creepy? How can you find kinky folks who aren’t superpervy?

A: No.