Q I’m a 25-year-old gay male into puppy play. About a year ago, I joined a pack with one Sir and several puppies. I became very close to one of my “pup bros” and became his alpha—meaning between the two of us, I’m more dom but still sub to our Sir. Fast-forward nine months, and the pack has fallen apart due to each of us going through our own relationship troubles. My pup bro, let’s call him Fido, breaks up with his vanilla-but-open-relationship boyfriend. Having such a close bond with Fido, and already being sexual, I bring up the idea of dating. He admits he’s considered it and likes the idea but is unsure. A bit later, he tells me: “I love you, but I’m not ready for a commitment.” But a couple weeks later, he tells me that a dom on the opposite coast wants to collar him. Now it seems like Fido is using this dom the same way he used his past relationships—as a way to avoid dealing with his own stuff. He’s started pulling away from me, saying that certain things (sex and cuddles) with me feel too much like “boyfriends.” To really make me feel like shit, I opened Fido’s Scruff profile because he updated his pic, and his profile says he’s looking “ideally for a guy to cuddle with, laugh with, spend adventures with,” i.e., everything we used to do before he pulled away. Am I deluding myself here? I thought this was a “not yet” situation. —Pensive Upset Puppy
QHappily married straight woman here, just post-hysterectomy. No penis-in-vagina sex allowed for a few weeks. After years of reading Savage Love, we know this is a call for us to be creative, rather than the death knell for our sex life. (Thank you!) My question: Husband is well endowed, and sex with him has often included deep thrusting and his cock repeatedly touching my cervix. With no cervix anymore, though, I worry: Will there be enough room in my remodeled space for his whole cock? Once I’m fully healed from surgery, will the vaginal tissue, treated gently at first, stretch? —Very Agitated Generally
ATell him the party is off, WTF, absent an apology and an explanation from him. But you should open with an apology of your own: Tell him you should’ve checked with him before setting up the party (“Do you want me to make this happen? Because I have some friends who might be into it”) and apologize for freaking him out. You know now (because I’m telling you) that people who are into humiliation scenes want to be in control until the scene starts, i.e., involved in the negotiations and the setup, and actively consenting.
