QI am a straight male, married to a woman for 25 years. Our marriage started to go sour about 14 years ago. Sex was infrequent and stultifying. Finally, when the kids were old enough, I made plans to separate. When my wife got wind of these plans, she finally agreed to work on our relationship. We had long and heartfelt conversations. Things got better. Sex got more frequent, if not more exciting. Then I saw a letter referencing cuckolding in your column in the Coast, the weekly paper here in Halifax. I mentioned it to my wife. She asked me to read it to her. This led to a conversation about the possibility of introducing cuckolding into our relationship. She agreed after she made certain it was something I really wanted. She now has a guy in mind. My first choice for this scenario would be all three of us having sex. My second choice would be he and I having sex with her. The third would be me watching. The last would be them having sex and me hearing about it afterward. She has opted for the last option and is reluctant to share all the details. She has asked me why her having sex with another man is so exciting. She speculated it is because I have a big ego—if other men want her, her value is higher. That sounded weird to me. For me, it is all about sex. The idea of her letting another guy in, going down on him, etc, is exciting to me. We will be breaking the rules for what married couples are supposed to do. I have been on cuckolding websites. It seems a lot of guys go in for humiliation. Some claim they have small dicks and want a larger man to satisfy their wives. None of those things apply to me. I just think it is hot, exciting sex. My question: Has there been research into cuckolding? Why do husbands find it hot and desirable? —Clearly Understanding Cuckold Kink
Men who enjoy the humiliation aspect of their wives sleeping with other men tend to identify with the term “cuckold,” CUCK, while men who are into the hot, exciting sex aspect—men like you—tend to identity as “hotwifers.”
QI am a straight 19-year-old girl in college. I broke up with my boyfriend of several months a week before Valentine’s Day (a whole ‘nother situation), and during that relationship, I met this other guy, one of his friends. This friend has been in a relationship for 2.5 years. But his girlfriend cheated on him, and now he has a free card to go fuck someone else. He wants that person to be me! We have fooled around some, but even though I am not looking for a relationship right now, I have reservations about fucking someone who is in a relationship, even if it’s on a Go Fuck Someone Else card. Advice? —Uneasy and Unsure
