Q My son is 19, but due to some physical and social disabilities (mostly unseen), his emotional maturity level is closer to 14, though he is quite intelligent. After a lifetime of therapists, specialized education, and other interventions, he is now a freshman in college far from home. His dad and I are paying for his tuition, room and board, and books. He was expected to use his summer job earnings for personal expenses. His lack of social skills makes him dependent on alcohol and cigarettes to form his social life, and that plus his immaturity (imagine sending your son to college at age 14) means he went through his money quickly. But he is still drinking and smoking and getting high. When he was home for his last break, I asked him how he affords to do this, and he wouldn’t tell me. You can imagine what went through my head. (Drug dealing?) I asked if it was safe and legal, and he said yes. After some snooping, I learned that he is using a webcam service for chats with men who offer “tips” for sexual viewing. I suppose this is technically safe and legal, but because I’m unfamiliar with the technology involved, I don’t know if he is putting himself at risk emotionally or if screenshots can be captured that can affect his future career, relationships, etc. I’m a longtime follower of your column, podcast, and books, and I hope that someday my son and I will be as close as you and your mother were. What would Judy Savage do? —Worried Over Repercussions Regarding Incriminating Employment Deal

We always chose to hear her out.

A There are thousands of women out there selling their used panties online, and you never read about one being stalked or murdered by a collector, PANTIES, but the news is full of stories of women being murdered by their boyfriends and husbands. I don’t mean to downplay the risks—or play fast and loose with the math (there are tens of millions of women with boyfriends and husbands)—and most women who sell their panties online aren’t meeting their customers face-to-face. But if you don’t want to go the website route, here’s how you can sell your panties in person more safely: get the Uber app on your phone and order a car after you make a sale. Having a driver drop you a mile away will cost you $5 or $10, PANTIES, but the peace of mind will be worth the price.