Roughly one in every nine acts on the Riot Fest lineup comes from Chicago, so if you circulate in Douglas Park all weekend you’re going to see some locals whether you mean to or not. But I’ll be honest: This far into festival season, I’m tired of talking about bands. So I’m going to treat these ten acts as though they were peanut butter. I’d like to see you stop me!
Once I committed to this idea, the next logical step was to plot the bands on the two axes fundamental to peanut butter: crunchy versus smooth and sweet versus salty. (I give it two years before you’ll see a chart just like this on the wall of an artisanal grocery in Logan Square.) This may be the least useful exercise of my music-writing career, but at least it’s not cheesy.
Sleep on ItFriday 1:50, Radicals StageWhen pop-punk takes cues from the Edge, it’ll be airy enough to spread with an index card.
MinistryFriday 6:05, Riot StageMaybe don’t lick the dark side of the spoon.
Vic MensaFriday 7:25, Rise StageEvery bite is a surprise! How many recipes is this guy using at once?
TurnspitSaturday 1:00, Heather Owen StageTheir punk energy stirs things up just enough to keep the oil from separating.
La ArmadaSaturday 2:00, Heather Owen StageLike stuffing your face with handfuls of peanuts still in their shells.
Knuckle PuckSaturday 2:30, Rise StageYou’ll want some jelly with this sassy pop-punk—or anything else that might make your ex . . . jelly.
Lawrence ArmsSaturday 5:30, Rise StageTastes best right out of the jar the morning after a long night of drinking.
Real FriendsSunday 1:45, Radicals StageSmooth as butter, with an occasional hunk of processed peanut to remind you it’s punk
OrwellsSunday 3:00, Rise StageA glass of milk will keep this stuff from getting stuck to the roof of your mouth—but you’re on your own with your brain.
Cap’n JazzSunday 4:25, Riot StageOh messy life! Oh messy knife! v
